I figure it’s a good thing when the date of something challenging comes and goes and you hadn’t even realised it. Yesterday was 3 years since my CRT pacemaker went in, to take over the electrical signals to my heart so it will pump in sync. Three years since I went in believing for the best, only to have the operation not be a success.
In a funny way, it’s an anniversary of what should have worked, but didn’t. It was four more months until they went in to operate again, to take out one of the leads which was hitting my phrenic nerve (which caused pulsing through my body with each heartbeat) and replace it with another. Those four months are like a blink of an eye now, but some of the most challenging (mentally and physically) I’ve faced. This time three years ago, there was a lot of pain, a lot of tears and a lot of ‘why didn’t this work?’ But four months after that, there was overwhelming gratefulness and joy, after finally striking success!
Life can be like this in so many ways. Moments of disappointments. Heart ache. Fear. Uncertainty. But then… things turn around – breakthrough comes, hope is restored and suddenly you can see the light of day again. And the pain and disappointment that you’ve walked through fades.
When we found out I needed a CRT pacemaker, my Ejection Fraction (the percentage of blood pumped out of the left ventricle with each heartbeat) had dropped by another 5% and was getting very low. I was more exhausted, walking up stairs was becoming an issue (actually walking anywhere was becoming an issue!) and I had an annoying cough when trying to get deep breaths in. The word ‘cardiomyopathy’ wasn’t a term I liked hearing and the way forward was with this device and medication.
But here we are 3 years on and my latest echocardiogram (ultrasound of my heart) shows that my Ejection Fraction has continued to improve. I’m now in the ‘normal’ range! AMAZING! My heart is also looking more healthy and those symptoms I experienced are now just past memories. Last year I needed 3 monthly checks, as my pacemaker was having a few problems with its settings and this year I had a random visit to hospital after chest pain and a racing heart. It still has it’s moments when it decides it would like to beat in the 200’s (yeah, that feels a bit rubbish when you’re not even doing anything!) but 90% of the time I feel great and my heart behaves!
I’m forever grateful for the healthcare system we have in our country, as I connect with others online, who are trying to save up $50,000 – $100,000 to have a pacemaker fitted. We are beyond blessed here. I have the most incredible Electrocardiologist and am so thankful for people who train to be Electrophysiologists also. The team I’ve seen over the three years have been incredible and are oncall whenever something happens.
We don’t know what caused my Left Bundle Branch Block (which caused the low EF) but it could have been a virus I had some years ago. With the arrival of Covid, many more people are facing heart issues as a result. We are blessed to live in the age we do – with the incredible advancement in medical help.
My problem was picked up as a result of a one off test my doctor decided to do – a simple ECG. I wasn’t sick. I had no symptoms. It was just to get a base line that ‘everything was okay’ before trialing me on some meds for migraines. Thankfully it was found when it was, as I’m not sure we would have known why I was exhausted 12 months later when my EF declined more. Who would have thought I had a heart problem?
With this in mind, may I encourage regular health check ups. Whether it’s for your heart, diabetes, prostrate, cholesterol or checks for breast or bowel cancer. Whatever it may be! If there is a concern there at the back of your mind – book the appointment. No one likes the tests. No one enjoys being vulnerable. No one wants to actually know something maybe happening. But it could just save your life.
The last couple of years when I’ve seen my Cardiologist he reminds me that we’ve extended my ‘life expectancy.’ I haven’t asked him exactly what that means – as who really wants to know?! I just take it as the encouragement it is. I will live longer.
Recently I’ve had many people randomly share a particular verse with me which has brought such encouragement. For there is one who holds the days of our lives in His hands. He loves us, has a plan for us and we need not fear as He knows the days and hours we have.
I leave it with you…
Psalm 91:14-16 “Because he loves me,” says the Lord, “I will rescue him; I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name. He will call on me and I will answer him; i will be with him in trouble, I will deliver him and honour him. With long life I will satisfy him and show him my salvation.”
May it be so.
XXX
Grace & Providence - Annika Morton 